A Wallflower

I had thought about this for a while. I think I am a wallflower.

I’ve read that wallflowers are introverts but participates in social activities and interacts well with other people. They also seem to be a keen observer of the “social” environment. They know a lot based from these observations.

After scrolling through my feed at facebook, seeing everything that happens to my friends I asked myself “Am I the only person feeling that I am constant or my life is constant?” Major changes rarely happens to me or so I think.

When I see my friends personally, I can see a lot of changes but keep my mouth shut. Their hair, eyes, smile, new haircut, suddenly applying make up etc. I choose not to be vocal about it. I can tell if someone is sad, happy, brokenhearted and pissed of just by looking or by asking a few questions. Most of the time they end up sharing the problems they are trying to hide.

I always have this urge know about other people. Though I hear rumors, I don’t believe them easily and I want to hear it from the person or if it was a bad attitude I have to experience it first. When that person being talked about proves that the rumors are true, I just pretend I just found out (well actually I sort of found out because it is finally confirmed)

I spend a lot of my time alone, thinking or reflecting things over. I can stay at home without being bored or lonely. I either watch movies, draw, read or play. In family gatherings or parties I can spend the entire night not talking to anybody. I am not a snob, I’m just not the type who starts conversations with someone not in my inner circles. This goes the same when I was in school. I just find the feeling of being alone immaculate.

I am an introvert. I don’t hate people, I’m just not comfortable  drawing the attention of a lot of people. I’m not a snob,  I just can’t think of an opening statement so Im not used to starting conversations. I’m not dumb either, I have normal range of vocabulary I just don’t find the apprpriate time to use them and If I do it is very concise.  The world is noisy I believe, and there is no need to add unnecessary noise to it.

I’m a wallflower.

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