The Planner

I happen to finish collecting stickers for my new Starbucks Planner early this year and I am about to claim it later. While taking a bath before going to work, I remembered that I still haven’t tasted even have of their blends and have recently purchased a Starbucks Card. With that in mind, decided to continue my Starbucks Experience, gain points in the card and to take advantage of the holiday season earn stickers for another planner.

“What will I do for that other planner?” I asked myself while lathering my hair with shampoo. Not long after I answered “Maybe, I could give it as a gift to someone this year.” The answer is followed by another question “to whom?” I thought of my parents, but rejected it because I can only give it to one of them and besides, they already bought one for next year. Aside from that they don’t appreciate it because it is too expensive for a planner when in reality it was just my incentive for just drinking the coffee I love. My teenage cousin who love Starbucks on the other hand appealed to me the most. She loves going to Starbucks but at her parents’ expense which is a minus for her. I think she is still in the age when she view going to Starbucks is a one’s expression of a higher social status and not a means for self-satisfaction. I gave a no for her because she rarely contacts me.

I turned on the shower and as the water poured on my soapy face I thought of EJ. I cannot think of any memories from him to deserve the planner(aside from existing), but I do have a reason to give it to him. I want to confess.

After 2 weeks, I got the second planner. I went home, excited of the thing I’ll put but realized the sad and grueling possibility. He might delete me as a friend in facebook, I don’t even fear he’ll expose me because he didn’t to that to the guy who first confessed to him. The pesssmistic thought calm me down, and started writing a letter:

“You might be wondering why I gave you this planner. It is my gesture for thanking you for existing. I first saw you in the summer of 2011, the year I first availed the SB planner. Since then I have thought of you for a minute or two every single day for 365 days. I thought of you longer when I needed a reason to smile. You became the living embodiment of my imaginary friend. It was sad the you had to transfer and you have to remain confined to my thoughts for the rest of the year.

This is just me saying to you for the short friendship we had. A reason for me to talk you about the smallest topics. I wish that you understand my feelings towards you. I don’t long anything more than friendship with you because I know how much you love her. And now that I confessed to you, a long-lasting friendship may not even be possible. BUT….

I wasn’t given the chance to know you, so I may be wrong. You are free to react in anyway you want. For almost 4 years I admired you, I have also prepared myself on how you will react when I confess, especially for the negative. I am ready to let you go, not for your sake but for mine.

I cannot love someone for 4 years and not let him know about it in the end.

ahh…the moment you receive this planner and read its letter is the moment I started to believe that the possibility of a long lasting friendship with you will only remain in my wildest dreams.

I folded that letter and inserted it in the planner along with a scan of my accumulated stickers, some photos of him paper clipped with a note saying “Don’t forget, you made someone happy just by finding these rare photos of you.” I wrapped everything up with a simple red wrapper with a white ribbon at a corner.

I texted EJ. and the thread of conversation of dated almost two years ago appeared. I also sent a personal message in FB. Both of them saying “Can we meet up at the 7-eleven store near your school? Lunch time” Which I don’t expect him receiving, for all I know his number changed and he doesn’t visit FB often.

I texted D, a friend of mine who also transferred to the same school, and asked her to deliver my gift to EJ just in case he didn’t receive my messages. She understands me very well, so I know she won’t reject my request. As expected she replied, “Sure!” with a smiley face within a few minutes.

The next day I met with D and handed my gift to EJ. She sighed and asked me “Are you sure about this?” I gave her a simple nervous nod. I gave my excuses for leaving and left everything to her.

I felt happy I said to my self on the way to work that day. I didn’t check FB for an entire week until today.

I logged in and there are a lot of notifications but only one flag on my inbox icon. It is EJ. My heart beating fast now. I opened the message and he said…..

I don’t know if you’ve realized that this is a short story. Fiction. At least half of it. but I wonder if this will turn out to be non-fiction. Isn’t it amazing if it will turn out to be non-fiction? How I got my wish for simply drinking a cup of coffee.



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