There were times when I feel a sudden warmth on my body, similar to those you feel when you get a tight hug for a long time. Instead of getting creeped out, I always think about you. Because I know you’re the only person I want to hug but couldn’t. Again I am reduced to this sensory hallucination of us hugging.
I close my eyes and immerse myself to that wishful thinking
I imagine I rest my head on your broad shoulders, my arms under yours gently caressing your back, I can hear you breathe your heart beating. I can feel your breath brushing my nape, your arms around my back, your body pressed against mine beating the cold weather.
Our warm hug starts to loosen. You slowly free me from your arms. I finally feel cold again, until it wakes me up. I open my eyes and you vanished into thin air.
I miss you so much. So much that despite not being able to do this with you forever.
I miss you so much. Even if each moment I remember you, you might forget my name, my face or the memory of meeting me.
I miss you even if I call out your name like a friend and you see me as a stranger.
I miss you. Seeing you by chance is great, I would be satisfied.
Missing you too much hurts but I would rather miss you and feel the pain than unloving you and feel empty.