Soulmate. The One. My destiny, The fated one.
And other names you can call them. They are always mentioned in romantic novels. A story of finding them. The signs and clues to identify them from the rest. They are described with such words that make you love them just like how the protagonist does. Making you feel what they feel. And most commonly make you long for them even more.
I, too have read romantic novels and watched romantic movies. They all circle around this person. The most important of which or the most fascinating thing is how soulmates meet. Along a park? In a library? On the street bumping to one another? An accident? All it took was a glance, an eye to eye contact, an unintentional touching of hands and everything going slow. The moment can be as magical as it can get.
Now Let’s deal with the reality. Can you really tell who your soulmate is?
Let’s listen to my absurd idea. What if we knew who our soulmate was? Like we have an image of the one for us in our heads. Once we see them we will recognize them. And without a doubt be with them. The catch is, we don’t know when we will meet them. How we will meet them. Will we try to find them? Remember you are destined to be together once you find your soulmate, no more doubts and no need to woe anyone.
It may sound convenient at first, but becomes problematic as I went along. No more broken hearts we might say. No more trial and error relationships. Nobody can hurt and will get hurt. No more exes and number 1, 2 or 3. Everyone has someone for them and it is guaranteed. But can you love someone the moment you saw him or her? Can you say you love him or her just by looking at his or her face?
Love requires time. It might be there even before you meet your soulmate. An investment of love on someone you don’t know yet but you are sure is the one for you. And every time you give someone a chance to be worth that investment, letting them withdraw it. It gets depleted. Or, as you meet someone you are slowly earning love. Either way, love requires time to develop and it is up to us who we invest it with.
As to Mr. Right or Ms. Right. They exist but I think not in the way we imagine. I compare them to clothes. They are clothes meant to fit to only one person. I made the clothes, now I must find the one who will fit in it. Time after time, the clothes gets loose or torn and patched but still it can only fit to one person.
Our soulmate is. The one who made the clothes that would fit us but is exactly the same. clothes that we made for them.