Decay

So much decay. Social decay…

So many people used, their ignorance taken advantage of, manipulated by people whom they gave their faith and trust. Need I say more?

I am far away from the affected area, but can’t help myself from getting bothered by it. Not the traffic, or the first hand experience of how difficult it is to go through that crowd after a long day at work. But the disturbance, the disruption, the insensitivity and how inconsiderate these people have become, is really getting to me.

How pitiful.

When people try to defend their belief but unknowingly being used to defend something else. How ignorance and stupidity is being encouraged by people to either attain power or cause chaos. 

I weep for the abuse of the words “it is my right”. I weep for the society I live in because they no longer fight for the deprived rights but fight because they have the right to do so. 

This blindness, arrogance and the herd mentality….disappointing. 

People starts to judge each other, condemning one another. Telling one another they’ll go to hell, not realizing with their misunderstanding they are both living the hell they are talking about. No one will be saved in the end.

One good thing I can see in this, is I already have an idea whom I will give my vote next year.

There are people behind this. Watching you fight for their sake, their cause and for their benefit. You think you need them because they promise you something better if you put your faith and trust in them. When in fact they need you, to supply them with power. You are their power.

But again. I am again expressing my thoughts, exercising my right. If you find it offensive, honestly speaking I don’t care.

Because that is how the society is today, you exercise your right even if it deprives the right of others. Fight for something you don’t understand. Judge others according to your standards.

It’s actually funny when these people gather in one place, how they think how big they have become. How enormous their influence is. What they fail to realize, is how they are showing everyone else how small they are. To be there is to be one of them, therefore for the rest of us at the comfort of our home, we are the group much bigger than them. Only, we decide not to gather at one place.

I agree, some people have become spoiled to the point that they cause our society’s decay.

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The Universe Conspires 

Two days ago, I was almost done with my application to another university. My demo went so well, I finally gained the confidence that I can teach. I can do this. My evaluation was very high and they only took notice of why I was wearing rubber shoes with a formal attire(hahaha). That same day, I also received a message from my alma mater that they are already considering my application and scheduled me for an exam the following week.

When I told the HR of the other university about my situation, she urged me to make a final decision and choose between them that moment. Gosh! certainty vs. uncertainty; what I need vs. what I want; brain vs. heart.

I dropped my application even Though it was certain I will get hired at the other university.

I want to serve my alma mater. Walking there, scared to death that I might not have any of the two (my fear from the beginning). I approached my professor or mentor. When she saw me, she said….

“Good thing you’re here! Please sign here” handing me a piece of paper.

It was a memo informing me I have to attend the faculty meeting this coming saturday.

The universe conspired to let me have what I truly want.

Lost in the Market Place

I mentioned a few days ago I was processing my documents. Those documents were for my job applications. Yes, finally I applied to what I want to do. I had my demo teaching yesterday for a Faculty position and just awhile ago had my demo for a laboratory assistant.

About the demo yesterday, it was nerve-wrecking. I haven’t memorized or mastered my topic yet and had to look at my notes in the middle of the discussion. My confidence level plunged, i was so disappointed with myself. So I ate some comfort food(cheeseburger and fries). That afternoon when I went home, I suddenly want to just go back to out family business just like before. But then it reminded me of the shepherd boy of my favorite book (The Alchemist). If I remember correctly, there was a point in his journey that he wanted to go back to his flock and live the way he used to. He felt regret when he was robbed in the chaos of the market place. He just laid there empty handed and could no longer return to what he used to do. I think I am in that particular scenario right now or could immensely relate to it. I had to use my savings to process my documents so I am quite low in funda right now. I have to walk back and forth from places to process my requirements, have to embarass myself in front of a group of people and such. Those discouraging events.

So if I can’t be an instructor, i should try out a job where I can be trained as a teacher. The head offered me a job as an assistant (the job which I actually applied for). And this morning had a demo for it. I could say the job is much lighter, comfortable  for me at this early stage. I can observe the theaching styles of my professors and hopefully can learn from them.

So far, I will continue doing this. Again, I tell myself, nothing is easy. If one of my potential employers will call, that will be the point of no return. If I get hired as a faculty, it will be difficult but I have to make a way to make it work. If I get hired as an assistant, i have to take that opportunity to learn as much as I can. If I get none…..

Like the shepherd boy laying at market place early in the morning, stand up and accept that I have to move forward somehow. And trust there is a plan for me.

That the universe will conspire to achieve my dreams.

The “Thank you” Energy

Have you ever experienced being told “Thank you” by someone when you are doing your work/job? Not a favor, just your job, where you get paid and you have to do no matter how mundane/ exhausting it may be.

So far, I have observed that when I say thank you to anyone After interacting with them or having their service, they will be courteous or kind to you. Sometimes, even smile and say thank you back.

A simple thank you combined with a smile can make anyone smile no matter how exhausted, busy, angry, bored or stingy they are. It’s not a matter of being kind because I already got what I need, but in a way wanted to encourage them. Those who do good in their service will take it as a compliment/reward other than their compensation. Giving them some feeling of fulfillment. While those whose service wasn’t good, it’s up to their conscience if they’ll take it as an encouragement to do better.

Let’s just say, a cashier at a public hospital catering to an endless line, a doctor attending to patients skipping her lunch break, a canteen crew serving your food/washing a mountain of dishes….wouldn’t be nice to if we give them a simple thank you as an instant reward? That what they are doing made us happy or helped us in anyway.

Put yourself in their shoes. Won’t you feel happy to be of service?

There are times we encounter short-tempered people. Letting them release  steam can be good for them, but not for you if they choose to direct it to you. It will be hard to keep quiet while getting humiliated or shouted at but I guess it’s better not to get infected with rage as it will ruin your peace and that would be you accepting the garbage thrown at you. I’ve learned from a short story that like  an unaccepted gift, trash that is not received will always remain with the giver. It’s better for others to judge that person than judge both of you.

So thank you for reading this post. It feels good that someone actually lisyens to the thoughts of this crazy kid.

To the Guy Playing the Piano

Thank you for the Free music. It’s quite rare to see someone play just because they want to play. They either play because their friends asked them to or they have music lessons.

The café just opened. We were the only customers. I was ordering breakfast, you just finished yours. Only a glass of iced tea is left. When you drank it all. You stood up and start playing with the guitar you brought. While I was eating breakfast, typing in between bites like a normal person of this generation.

This morning started of as cloudy. Like the rain is about pour anytime and I went out without an umbrella. Yet we were there in the café. Doing what makes us happy or fulfilled.

This is me being an introvert at it’s finest. I have to get back to my breakfast. 

Beginner’s Luck

Yesterday, I filed my applications for a teaching position and a laboratory assistant to different institutions. I won’t deny that I got anxious. After missing out on my interview last tuesday for an opportunity to work in a hospital, really gave me a great deal of regret and embarassment. I felt so irresponsible.

Anyway, as soon as I got back I rearranged my papers and fixed my résumé. I passed the first resume to a school looking for instructors. Something felt good about th place. Everything went smoothly, all the anxiety and negativity went away. They only required my to give my NBI clearance and medical certificate in order to be scheduled for interview. I know it is still uncertain, but I need to be positive.

For the second Resume, i passed it to my old school. It was pretty crowded. But it didn’t discourage me. Fortunately, I already had everything they require so they just gave me a form to fill-up. Even though I feel like there is a lower chance of getting hired in my old school because of a number of applicants, I still filed it anyway. I said to myself I might regret not trying later on.

On my way home, I had the impression that processing for NBI and medical certificate can get very time consuming and requires some budget. In other words, difficult. But O have to do what I want to do, as of the moment I don’t want to live in the shadow of my father’s legacy or dream anymore(business which i have been working for the previous months). I am aware I am giving up privileges of being a manager/boss, but those privileges don’t make me happy anymore. Probably because I see what I am doing in our family business as child’s play or a comfort zone. I want to learn, practice what I studied for and get stressed for reasonable things and for my own problems (hahahaha, i know I will regret saying this later).

Why Beginner’s Luck?

I am able to finish everything smoothly.

  1. When I filed for a teaching position, the HR told me to complete my requirements so She can schedule me for interview already.
  2. When I filed for an assistant position, i was asked to go back the following day. When I returned I was already included for screening. And there was just two applicants.
  3. I processed my NBI Clearance in less than 10 minutes. Not knowing they no longer give forms and they only accept online application, I was unprepared. Fortunately, I brought my portable wifi and was able to register online. The process only took me 10 minutes and was able to go ahead of 30+ people in line
  4. As for the medical certificate, i decided to do laboratory test tomorrow but for the X-ray I found one near NBI and it’s cheaper. Everything was within my budget. Good thing is, if everything went to plan tomorrow, I can complete my application before the given deadline.

Even if there is no guarantee I will be accepted, might face rejection for both, go back to the way things were. I am happy.

I am happy because I tried. Finally I was able to do my plans and have processed my documents.