I woke up late this morning. Left home, exactly an hour and a half before my next class. No breakfast just a can of black coffee. I got a cab. Stuck in traffic. My mind wandered.
My long lost dream, that I thought I once buried haunted me. It resurfaced out of nowhere. Like the gentle breeze, blew on my cheeks. For some reason, at the passenger seat of the cab I rode to work, behind the traffic and in front of a Partylist van playing the same campaign jingle over and over again….There was this eagerness, longing and hauntid dream of becoming a doctor.
I want to become a doctor that badly. I wanted to apply for scholarships or sponsorships, because the finances were the only problem I had. The expenses of studying medicine in this country is no joke. I can live with the pressure. I know the difficulty. I am familiar what commitment it requires and I even see myself in that kind of commitment without being scared of it.
I want to become a doctor because the superego of myself wears a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck wearing stainless glasses and sitting in his consultation office, reading thick colored books showing tissue sections, dissected organs and graphs. I see myself in front of patients in line waiting for their turn to consult me in an outreach program. I see myself going room to room, checking on my patients, the very people who entrust their health to me. I have this overwhelming satisfaction to be needed, to have purpose and to have something to live for.
It’s been two years since I had second thoughts of going to med school.I chose not to, because I was exhausted with my pre – med. I needed rest. A long rest, long enough for me to miss this kind of living, long enough to make me want it badly. Just like what I feel now.
Psychology says “Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that will help you grow.”
I think it’s true. I have to read The Alchemist again before making this career change.