Life and Death

People basically like to argue. I think because of the satisfaction and superiority we feel when we are “right.” And people love to be unique, superior, to others.

People argue when basically they are fighting for the same thing.

Who deserves to live?

Such a timely issue. I know I’ve posted before how confusing the concept of human rights is. How difficult it is to understand that rights of criminals, who robbed the rights of their victims, deserved protection.

But for now I hate to argue. I want to understand what both sides are fighting for and the root of their argument.

We are fighting for that sanctitiy of life. We are protecting life.

I believe we all agree to that. PERIOD. We don’t have to argue about that. We argue because we add more to that. “Who deserves to live?” and “Does everyone deserve life regardless of how it is lived?”

We are afraid. We are afraid of our own death and those whom we love.

At present, we are afraid of being killed by a drug addict or being mistaken for one and be killed by a vigilant. 

In the end we are afraid of dying. Our right to live taken from us or from those we hold dear. That’s why we are fighting fo life.

And I guess that is something we all have in common. 

Now, did I take a side? Did I point out who deserve to die?

No. Because I am afraid to die. Regardless of the reason or manner of death.

Dismissed

(Excuse my political opinion on the dismissal of PGMA’s Plunder case. I’m not a political expert nor a conspiracy theorist but I am simply expressing my opinion on the matter, especially on the reaction of fellow filipino citizens. Especially those who seem to be SEVERELY affected by the decision. Sarcasm aside.)

“Ex-Ombudsman Gutierrez urges public to respect dismissal of Arroyo case” 

– GMA News Article (Source)

Facebook reaction:

  1. Thumbs Up or the Good old-fashioned like: these ones are difficult to read. Some may have been avid likers who just like away. Some may be the older generation. Or those who were infavor of the decision and respects the Supreme Court.
  2. Angry reaction: the “makabayan” reaction. A reaction that when abused it becomes more and more annoying thereby degrading its purpose or meaning. That’s why netizens developed a term for them, Pinoyz/Pi-noise. They are the minority that represents the “Pulse” of the majority.
  3. Haha reaction: Just laughing of the disappointment maybe? Laughing at the comments perhaps? Disbelief this case ended in dismissal or mere acceptance that this is justice in the Philippines (and I am not sure how to describe it)

Facebook comments: so these are just shortened comments of people. Dropping unnecessary emojis, repetitive punctuation marks, and other other reactions such as Grr, hahahah. And yeah, swearing too.

” Yan ba ang #changeiscoming? I’m so disappointed Mr. President. Pinalaya ang naging salot ng bayan.”

I believe it was taught during elementary or high school that our government has three branches: Executive, Legislative and Judicial. All of them has different functions and one branch must NOT CURTAIL OR INTERFERE in doing these functions.(ideally of course). Apparently, this person believed that in the amount of time that our new president has, he prioritized the release of former president GMA. Our former president who served for almost 10 years, and with major issues in 2004 and 2009, labeled as “SALOT.” This shows one face of Philippine justice. 

Since we have an imperfect society, we can’t deny that the executive branch overpowered or manipulated the SC. Being that the case, just recall who appointed the judges in supreme court. Why was the decision released now not earlier? Probably it took that long for them to study the case and give a decision.

“Let the world know. Ipabasa sa kanila ang mga ebidensya”

Are we not capable of handling our own judicial affairs? When the government seek the help of foreigners on matters that their help was necessary, you condemn their decision. For matters that our government can handle, you seek the help of foreigners. So this is the freedom our heroes fought for. The freedom to do as we please.

Ignorance sparks manipulation. Manipulation can lead to public distrust. Public distrust to the government can lead to the collapse of society.

“Dapat may website na iupload ang trial or evidence para transparent talaga.

If evere there is such a thing, will you even try to read it? C’mon, we can’t even read an entire news article, for God’s sake. And you want an entire trial proceedings to be published? I’m not a lawyer but that would be extremely difficult to understand. 

Our own ignorance will limit the transparency of such cases. That’s why we have professionals to handle the matter. If I show you how to treat cancer, will you be able to understand? No. You just want the cure. Right?

-my head hurts. I already killed some time. So I’m going to end this.

After BINGE watching GOT, I believe we have LITTLE FINGERS in our government. They neither occupy a position nor want one. They just play the game and pick a side where they would likely win. 

Good day.

On Giving Everything

Impossible.

I had been against this idea for sole reason that you have to leave something for yourself. When you’re in love, you are not giving, you are sharing. Otherwise that would be unconditional bordering martyrdom.

Giving everything is impossible in the first place unless you consider yourself finite then you can literally give everything.

To understand this better. What most people believe is that they can give themselves to other people like a book. A book that can be owned, a book that is complex but will never change.

You are a person, not a book. You might say you have given everything but there will always be more to that. When we loved someone but the other doesn’t find it enough, we get hurt but that increases our capacity love. Increases it to the extent that we can forgive them and be able to fall in love again. We are capable of changing, and we try to be better than yesterday.

Instead of a book, you are a living journal. Everyday is a new story. Everything they find something new about you.

And every single day, they will fall in love with you.

And you will write your story together.

Interest vs. Like

Know the difference between “I am interested in you.” and “I like you.”

When I find you interesting, I want to know more about you until I realize I like you.

When say I like you, that means I found a lot of interesting things about you.

But when I say “I love you” that means I’m ready to find everything about you as interesting. Even your flaws or boring version (whatever).

Ang Mansanas

Naglalakad ka sa campus nang makita mo si crush. Lumakad ka sa direksyon niya hangang tatlong tao na lang ang agwat niyo sa isa’t isa. Nakatalikod siya habang ikaw naman may hawak na mansanas na kakainin mo sana.

Pero dahil narrator ako, susundin mo ang lahat ng sasabihin ko  dahil paglalaruan muna kita. At may ituturo ako sayo.

Ngayon, imbes na kagatin mo ang mansanas na hawak mo, iabot mo ito sa nakatalikod mong crush. Hindi ka magsasalita. Hindi ka lalapit. Lalong hindi mo pwedeng iutos sa kahit sino man. Iabot mo lang ang mansanas hanggang mapansin ka niya.

Nakakangawit di ba?

Edi ibigay mo. Pakawalan mo. Ngayon naman, nahulog ang mansanas mo sa semento. Madumi na.

Kasalanan ba niya kung bakit nahulog ang mansanas?

Kasalanan ba niya na sa kanya mo gusto ibigay yung mansanas?

Kasalanan ba niya na may kausap siyang iba?

Hinde. Ngayon, palitang mo lang yung mansanas ng pag-ibig mo sa kung sino man ang naiisip mo ngayon. Kasalanan ba niya na hindi niya ito napansin, nakita or naibalik sa iyo?

Paano kung binato mo sa ulo niya yung mansana? Edi malamang nagalit siya sayo.

Kaya huwag ipilit ang sarili sa ayaw naman sa iyo.

Paano kung tinawag mo siya at binigay ang mansanas kaya lang tumanggi pa din siya kasi mangga ang gusto niya?

Edi tinanggihan ka niya.

At least hinarap ka niya at nakapagusap kayo. Pero hindi talaga ikaw.

Pero paano kung nahulog ang mansanas, pinunasan ito at inabot sa iyo?

Paano naman kung napulot niya ito pinunasan at kinain habang inaabot ang baon din niyang mansanas?

Ewan na. Ikaw bahala. Di ko alam, kasi sa lahat ng mansanas na nahulog ko, wala pang bumabalik sa akin.

I wasn’t enough.

I tried to understand and have finally accepted…

…That I can only give paracetamol when you needed morphine to ease the pain.

… That I can only provide a drop of blood when you needed a whole unit of blood to feel alive again.

… That I can only see through you like a light microscope when you needed someone to see you like an electron microscope.

… That I can only give you band aid when you needed surgery to fix your broken heart.

I finally understood and have accepted that you needed someone and that wasn’t me. You deserve someone better, someone that could give what you needed.

I wasn’t enough because I could not give what I also needed. I still tried because without doing much you were already more than enough for me.

Hindi ka Maiiwan

“Wala namang maiiwan kung walang nang iiwan.”

Totoo naman. Pero maiiwan ka lang naman kung magpapaiwan ka. Sa puntong ito, iniwan ka talaga at sa isang banda hinayaan mong maiwan ka.

Ang ibig kong sabihin na sa atin din kung choice natinĀ magpaiwan. Kapag umalis siya, kailangan bang huminto ang buhay natin? Karamihan sa atin ganito. Nakasanayan nang nasa tabi siya sa lahat ng ginagawa natin. Ginagawa silang Araw ng solar system at ang buhay natin ang mga planetang umiikot sa kanya. Kaya pag nawala, hihinto, hindi na alam kung anong gagawin.

Okay lang naman huminto ng saglit. Namnamin ang sakit na nadarama. Dahil nilisan ka ng taong akala mong hinihintay mo simula ng ma-introduce ka sa konsepto ng pag-ibig. Umalis ang taong akala mong kasabay mo sa pag-usad ng natitira mong buhay. Pero hinde. Nauna na siya, naiwan ka. Hindi mo alam kung babalik ka na lang ba sa nakaraan, maghihintay sa pagbalik niya, hahabulin siya o tutungo sa ibang direksyon palayo sa kanya. Hindi mo alam ang gagawin mo kaya ka huminto at naiwan. Hindi mo pa alam.

Pero sa pagkakataong nagsawa ka na sa kung ano man ang pinili mong gawin matapos ka niyan iwan at nagkaroon ka na ng ideya. Uusad ka din. Kahit gaano ka kabagal o nangangapa sa daang tinatahak mong mag-isa, umuusad ka. At sa pag-usad ng buhay mo, sa bawat alaala na nagpangiti, nagpatawa, nagpagalit, at nagpaiyak sayo, mapagtatanto mo na ang mga bagay na ito iniiwan mo at lalagpasan mo. Hindi mo na namamalayan ang oras, at sa dami ng mga naranasan mo, yung sakit na nararamdaman mo ngayon at yung pagmamahal na akala mong wagas para sa kanya ay naiwan mo na rin.

Malay mo, pag nagkita kayong muli. Hindi na pala ikaw ang napag-iwanan kundi siya. Nasasayo ngayon kung ano ang gagawin mo.

…uusad ka pa ba at tatahakin ang buhay mo ng mag-isa?

…babalikan mo siya at aalalahin kung paano siyang mahalin?

…aantayin siyang mahabol ka at sabay kayong uusad sa hinharap?

“Wala naman talagang maiiwan, dahil may paraan naman para umusad. Kahit gaano pa ito kahirap at kabagal.”