Maybe, It’s Mystery

That insatiable curiosity confused with infatuation, or worse, love.

It’s our nature to distinguish what is unique, different or what captures our attention. The longer we ponder on what is different, the the stronger the urge to know more. We ask more questions, and the answers makes us more interested.
And when we are interested long enough, we start to like what is different. When we like things, we want to have them.
When we have them, we believe what is different will stay. If we have them longer, the more time we have to unravel the mystery.
That faith in permanence, will later on ruin the mystery of what is different. Once we have what is different, our interest will fade. Either we are dismayed at what we found, bored, tired for so many things unknown or unanswered, we have unraveled everything or another different thing caught our attention, we will stop.
That’s why, maybe it’s the mystery that captivates us, our curiosity will make us interested and our patience to decide how long we can be interested.

It’s Okay

It’s Okay

It’s okay I’m not your Prince…

…Or the guy you want to have dinner with for tonight.

I just want to be the guy you think about 10 years from now, while you stare at the empty seat in front of you, wishing you had said yes to the simple dreamer who asked you out because he turned out to be the prince you once dreamed about.

Para sa kanya Ito

Isipin mo na lang na para ito sa kanya…

Kahit alam mong hindi niya alam, isipin mo na mapapasaya mo siya

Kahit alam mong hindi ito masusuklian, isama mo siya sa dahilan para ibigay mo ang lahat sa kung ano man ang ginagawa mo.

Okay lang. Wala man bumalik sayo, naiimprove mo naman sarili mo. 
Okay lang na inspirasyon lang siya. Hanggang inspirasyon lang.

Balang araw, darating ang tao na titignan ka tulad ng pagtingin mo sa kanya. Ikaw naman ang magiging inspirasyon.

Huwag maghintay na may darating kung nakatali ka sa nakaraan at kinukulong ang sarili sa kasalukuyan.

Huwag umasa na mamahalin ka kung sino ka ngayon, gumawa ng paraan para mahalin ka niya ngayon at sa hinaharap.

Alalahanin mo, kahit gaano kaganda ang libro kapag tapos na ang nagbabasa nito, isasara at iiwan niya ito.

Tired again.

You know what’s worse? To be tired, and no one is there to provide the care you are longing for…

Someone who’ll eat dinner with you after you starved yourself from work.

…even pick the place where you’ll eat, order the food you always liked.

… Someone you can lean on and take a nap while your food is being cooked.

…someone who will run their fingers through your hair.

Someone you can be with.

Yeah. Just that. Someone you can be with.

Ako Namimiss Kita…

….pero hindi naman importante yon sayo. Sa dinamidami ng dahilan para makasama kita, hindi sapat yon para mapansin mo man lang na namimiss kita. Hindi mo maramdaman na namimiss kita.

Ngayon alam ko na kung gaano kabigat bitawan ang salitang “wala.” “Walang nakakamiss sa akin” or “walang nagmamahal sa akon”

Mabigat dahil alam ko na ngayon kung gaano kahapdi na mabale-“wala.”

Maituring na wala kahit meron.

O sadyang wala ka para sa kanya.

Na kailanman hindi matutumbasan nang ulan ng pagmamahal mo ang isang patak ng atensyon na mula sa taong inaasam-asam niya.

Screencap

5:30 AM [Alarm Buzzing]

I get my phone. Tap the snooze button. I see the screencap of your snapchat.

I wake up to that screencap. I wake up to the reality. You’re not into me.

7:24 AM [School Bell rings]

My first class is about to start. I look at my phone and placed it on silent mode. Before locking it, I see that screencap again.

I remind myself, that you’re not into me.

12:30 PM [Eating Lunch]

I check my phone every now and then. FB notifs, messages or calls. I see the screecap again, 

I can see that you’re not into me.

Sometimes I see it accidentally. Sometimes I look at it intentionally.

I like you, even if you don’t return the favor.

It bothers you that someone can like you even if you can’t return the feeling.

How can something so unfair last?

How can someone love endlessly, without being returned?

Love was never meant to be weighed. It was meant to be felt.

Love was never meant to be returned. It was meant to be given.

Love is something you can’t refuse or stop. The guilt of not having the same feelings, the burden of having to return the favor or the fear of hurting someone are keeping you from accepting their love.

If you can only love him if he will love you back, will you be able to find him?