Mornings.

I woke up to the smell of your perfume…
I found myself resting on your chest…
To the slow beating of your heart…
I open my eyes to see a blurry silhouette…
Every curve, Every crevice of your body…

Continue reading “Mornings.”

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Candle Room

“Shet, ang init.” sabi ko palabas ng Parking Area ng Porta Vaga. Patapos na dapat ang summer pero, ang init pa rin ng Baguio. Habang naglalakad ako sa gilid ng Cathedral naisipan kong magtirik ng kandila. Hindi para humiling, kundi magpasalamat sa lahat ng meron ako sa kasalukuyan at ipagkakaloob pa sa akin.

Pumasok ako sa candleroom (na parang oven na sa init), nagdasal habang sinisindihan ang kandilang binili ko at itinayo ito kasama ng ibang kandila. Papaalis na ako nang may makasalubong akong lalaki na may dalang bouquet ng bulaklak. Hindi lang basta basta na bouquet, yung parang binibili ng mga magjowa pag-valentine’s day. May apat na stargazers, white roses, pulang anthurium at iba pa.

“Yaman.” bulong ko sa sarili ko. Lumabas ako dahil hindi ko na talaga makayanan ang init, pero pinagmasdan ko pa rin siya. Pormal yung suot niya, nakawhite na poloshirt, beige na pants at brown na topsider. Pinatong lang niya yung bouquet sa harap ng Our Lady of Atonement, nagpause at tumalikod.

Nagulat ako dahil nagkatitigan kami. Sabi ko na lang

“A-ang swerte naman ni Mama Mary, hindi lang sampaguita ang meron sa harap niya ngayon.”

Natulala siya saglit at napangiti. “Ha? Ano?”

Continue reading “Candle Room”

Jouska Sixtus

Jouska – n. a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head—a crisp analysis, a cathartic dialogue, a devastating comeback—which serves as a kind of psychological batting cage where you can connect more deeply with people than in the small ball of everyday life.

“Eh kasi nga gago ako, malandi ako, madali akong magsawa at madali ako manlamig. Masasaktan lang kita, kaya tigilan mo na ako.”

“Alam ko gago ka, pero kahit ngayong gabi lang, hayaan mong iparamdam ko sa’yo na kahit gaano ka kagago deserve mo pa rin mahalin ka. Mahal kita kahit bukas hindi mo maaalala na niyayakap kita ng ganito kahigpit. Mahal kita kahit bukas parang hindi na naman tayo magkakilala. Ipagkait mo na sa akin ang mga taong pwedeng magsama tayo, pero sana naman ibigay mo sa akin ang gabing ito. ”

 

“Let Go” 2017, “Let’s Go” 2018

Happy New Year!!. New resolutions were made. Let’s welcome the new year with high hopes, as we let go of the previous year and bringing with us its lessons. I thought losing weight and having clearer skin were difficult, 2017 says “Think again , Bitch.

So here are some of the lessons I learned in 2017 and what I hope to become by the end of 2018.

Continue reading ““Let Go” 2017, “Let’s Go” 2018″

Night at Volante

Friday nights get colder as Christmas Day approaches.

I’m on my nth meet – up, waiting in front of the left window of Volante. Thank God, I chose to wear my black hoodie.

Twenty minutes had passed. No sign of him. No message from him. Well, no message is a message. I decided to have my dinner anyway. As I was about to get in…

“Hey.” said a guy standing in front of the right window of Volante. I looked at him. He looked awkward and worried but his eyes reminded me of someone. He was wearing cerulean cardigan on a white loose polo and beige jeans.

“Are you…sup-pose to meet with someone?” he asked.

“Uh… yeah” I replied unamused.

“Me too.” he said softly.

“Since we both got stood up, why don’t we go inside and talk about it over dinner? I’m really hungry.”

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This Familiar Feeling

It was 8:27 pm on a Monday night. I’m still at my work place even if my shift ended at 5 pm. Everyone had gone home while I was doing work. The guard only knocked and told me that I’m the only one left in the building and he needs to lock it. Good thing I was already fixing my things. I turned off the lights, locked the door and left as the guard was turning the lights off of the building. With each step I take, the place got darker. No, I wasn’t scared. I’m no longer scared. Not of ghost or other elements…but finding out that once again, I am alone.

Continue reading “This Familiar Feeling”