Schedule

5:43 am, makulimlim at tila hindi pa sumisikat ang araw.

Nakita ko sa facebook na dumating na si Reg galing Korea. Halos apat na taon na kaming hindi nagkikita. Alam ko na umuuwi siya ilang araw bago magpasko pero hindi kami nagkikita.

6:27 am, sumakay ako sa taxi na amoy expired na air freshner. Nakakahilo.

May nag-DM sa akin sa Instagram kaya ko binuksan. Ang una kong nakita, post ni Reg. Nasaloob siya ng Victory Liner na bus, window side, kitang kita na kakalampas lang sa Lion’s Head. Caption: “I’m Back.” May 2 comments at 5 likes. Ako na yung pang-anim.

12:23 pm, Lunch. Monggo at Lechon Kawali. Lakas maka-healthy living to kababuyan real quick.

Nagbasa sa twitter ng mga kagaguhan ng mga tao for entertainment. Nag-notif yung messenger. Si Reg.

Continue reading “Schedule”

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Delayed

Akala ko by being strong in front of you was better, hiding the pain, not letting your troubles affect me and allowing them to pass were good for me. The sad truth was, I was only delaying it. The more I procrastinate, the more painful it becomes. However, it’s already irrelevant. The time I was suppose to feel them was long overdue.

Every once in awhile, it boils down to one moment. It is destabilizing. It hurts. And I have to feel it alone.

It is easier to say and advocate #SpeakUp than be the one to #ListenUp.

Yes like others, we don’t want to be like this. If it was as easy as making a choice, don’t you think we would have chosen not to be like this? We don’t like romanticizing sadness, death or negativity. But every once in awhile we become what you think of us…We are guilty of a little pleasure we get from it, not because of the sadness, misery and negativity, but because finally, someone can relate, can identify and can understand us.

It is the company we get. Not the sadness we cursed with, the pity we are thought of begging. It is the company.

That in this sadness we are not alone and somehow we find strength in that, enough to make us live through another day.

Crossing

EXTERNAL. Lower Session Road. Pedestrian Lane sa tapat ng PNB

Kakaturn lang ng stoplight to red. Napatingin si L kay C at napansin nitong ilang araw nang matamlay ito.

L
Okay ka lang?

C
Hinde.

L
Bakit?

C
Hindi ko lang maiwasan isipin yung araw na nagkakilala tayo.
Yung araw na nagsimula tayon maging friends.

L
Ang drama nito. Ano bang problema?

C
Hindi lang ako mapalagay.

L
Di ba sinabi ko naman sayo na okay tayo, we’re still friends naman.

Continue reading “Crossing”